It's kind of like a garage sale... where you don't make any money.

In the aftermath of the E5 tornado that hit Joplin, MO our church is working with another area church collecting items for a relief trip that will head out to the disaster area on Memorial day. We've been working hard over the past two days to get people to donate items for us to take with us. We've even had lots of local businesses participate by donating goods or giving us gift cards that we can use to purchase goods ourselves. It's been pretty amazing.

I've seen some really amazing things happen when God takes control of a situation. I've seen a church built in Honduras. I've seen a basement wall re-built in Mansfield, Ohio. I've seen a family given a home when theirs was unlivable. I've seen people serve as foster parents for my brothers when times were hard for my family. I've seen a little girl who wasn't supposed to live more than a few weeks celebrate her birthday over and over again.

I've watched God provide for my family when I gave on faith and faith alone. He's proven it time and time again. I had a friend recently post a quote on facebook that read "maybe the amazing thing about amazing grace is the chance we have to give it away... and maybe that's what love is all about".

So my challenge to you is this: give on faith. Give the clothing that you were going to put in your garage sale. Perhaps you need that money... trust that God will take care of it. Or maybe, you'll find out you didn't need that money after all, but a baby in Joplin needed clothes. Instead of going to see a movie, go buy a pack of diapers and some toilet paper. I mean, how uncomfortable would you be if you suddenly had no toilet paper? Yikes!

If you believe about God, what you say you believe about God, then why hesitate when an opportunity is presented to you to show his love to someone else. Maybe God is trying to draw you into a closer relationship with him. The question you have to face is; "Is that really what I want?" It's a hard question to face honestly. But f your answer is truly "yes" then your path is pretty clear.

Here's a list of items that are needed right now. If you're in the Mansfield area they can be dropped off at Lexington Church of Christ or Ontario Christian Church. The team is leaving Monday. You can also donate funds to my friends already working in Joplin at http://www.Josh-walker.com/ .

Clothing (all sizes including underwear)
Toiletries*
Blankets*
Towels*
Trash Bags
Non-perishable food items
Hair products for African Americans
Peanut butter
Jelly
Diapers*
Baby formula*
Baby food*
Baby wipes*
Laundry detergent
Pain relievers
Duct tape
Tarp
50 count paper plates
Denture products

*Items are the most pressing need at the moment. We DO NOT need bottles water right now.

Be bold. Make a difference. Trust that God is bigger than your garage sale.

There are no words.

I've been struggling all week to think of something clever to say about the hubs leaving for the next 12 weeks. He always tells me that if I was ever to let people "hear" to real me through my blog then it would be wildly popular. I think he thinks I'm cooler than I actually am.

Anyways... I've been trying to think of a way to live up to his expectation by thinking of a funny analogy or a cool story or something to explain the way I'm feeling. What I've come to realize is... that way does not exist. This is not one of those situations where I cannot tell a funny story and it somehow leads into, "Oh, and by the way, my husband is leaving tomorrow for 12 weeks and will miss the birth of his son. But it's totally okay because this is all a part of God's plan."

I've tried really hard to keep my spirits up this week, especially for my husband's sake. I don't want him to see me struggling. I call this my "Scottish stoicism". It comes from when we were preparing to leave Scotland and said our goodbyes to a lady in our church. We said to her, "Oh Caroline, we wanted to give you a hug because this is our last Sunday with you." (She was going to be on holiday when we left so we had to say farewell to her earlier.) She gave us an odd look, an awkward sideways hug and said, "Alright then" and walked away. And while some would take this as rudeness, we understood that this was just how a lot of people acted over there. They aren't nearly as emotional as Americans. So, when faced with an emotional situation, I try to summon my inner Scotsman.

Well, now I'm starting to ramble. I guess, I've been trying so hard to be strong and make light of the situation and now I realize... there is no need. It is a serious, emotional situation. It is okay for me to feel nervous about my husband being away from his 1 year old daughter for that long. It's okay for me to be scared about delivering our son without him there to hold my hand. There's nothing wrong with me feeling that way. There's nothing wrong with him knowing that I feel that way. There's nothing wrong with crying to try to feel better about it. It's a tough situation.

So, I know that this is only for a season. I know that I have an unbelievable support system here while he's away, which is more than most have. I know that God will use this to help us minister to others later in our lives, and that is way cool. Despite all of that, my heart is still breaking. My daughter is without her dad all summer long and I'm without my husband and it is okay, and even right, that I'm sad about that.

In short, I'm sorry that I don't have anything funny or clever to say for this post. But I do have an encouraging thought. So far in my life, God has used every difficult situation in my life to bring others closer to him. And anyone who knows me well, knows that there are some real horrors in my life. In spite of all those dark situations, God was good. He was good then, He is good now and He will be good again tomorrow.

Things I never thought I'd say

It's funny how life changes when you have kids. Today I told my daughter "please stop punching mommy in the throat". When she didn't listen and was instead put down in her crib for a nap, I thought to myself 'now that's a sentence I never thought I'd say.' This goes along with "please take the fig out of your nose", "stop eating the ladybugs" and "how did you get Cheerios in your diaper?".

The books don't tell you about the trials of prying dandelions out of your kids' mouth or how the number one thing to look for in baby furniture is how easily it can be cleaned after your kid poops all over over it. These are the things you learn along the way. Nothing can prepare you for it and no one can give you a strong enough warning about it because when people tell you these things when you don't have kids you think to yourself 'well my kid won't act like THAT... I'll know how to handle it.' And just so you know, when you suffer through these funny little trials after we've warned you, a part of us is laughing at you when you say, "I never thought it would be this hard!" It's like when you go out to eat and the server tells you, "be careful, that plate is hot" and you touch is and say "Ouch! That's a hot plate!" Well, of course it is you dummy!

Anyways, I digress. I just think it's funny that having children makes your life so totally unpredictable. I never thought I'd tell my child to 'please stop eating the wood chips', but I've totally said that... more than once. Maybe we'll survive the crazy, ever changing lifestyle of the Navy after all. It can't be any more unpredictable than the adventures we go through with our children. Right??? BTW, it appears that we are now going to San Diego rather than Okinawa... funny huh?

Don't lick the electrical sockets!

Let me start out by saying the very obvious 'Happy Mother's Day'. I know it's sappy and a little 'Hallmarky' but seriously, thank you our moms. Whether your mom was the greatest thing since sliced bread, or the person who taught you not to lick electrical sockets, or just a woman who gave birth to you; they all deserve a thank you for bringing us into this world. They didn't have to do that. They could have chosen otherwise and the fact that they didn't gives us something to be thankful for.

Mother's day is different when you're actually the mom. In so many ways, it's totally awesome. For example, when our daughter woke up at 6:30 this morning instead of her usual 7-7:30 or her even nicer 9 am of yesterday, my husband said, "I'll get her. You sleep in."And if you know me, you understand how much I love this simple little gift. I love to sleep. I'm slightly obsessed with it. I know that sounds weird but it's true. I'm a bit crazy about tracking the number of hours I've slept and the number of hours my husband has slept and pointing out how they don't measure up. (Mainly, that he slept 30 minutes longer than I did... for shame!) Yeah, I know... crazy. But the point is, letting me sleep in is the best gift my husband could get for me and I really appreciate it.

So then I wake up and get my daughter ready for church, but she's super cranky so I put her down for a nap before we go in so she won't be mean to other children in the nursery. And I'm left with some free time in a quiet, empty house (the hubby has already gone in for praise team). Of course, I get on facebook to check out what's going on and read everyone's comments about mother's day. It's really great to see so many wonderful moms getting spoiled this morning. I know how hard they work, usually with no recognition, and it's great to see that today, their kids have gone above and beyond to show them how special they are.

One of these women is our home minister's wife. She has got to be one of the most amazing people I know. She has four beautiful kids (inside and out), she does everything around church, from praise band to youth work and everything in between, and she is still an out-of-this-world, awesome mom. She helps out with her kids' school as a volunteer. She makes the most amazing halloween costumes every year, which is going to be something really special that her kids will always remember about her. She makes each child feel like they are the most precious thing in the world on their birthday. She always puts together a cool theme, per their request, that is totally homemade and beats the pants off of anything you'd find in a party specialty store. And after all of that, she finds time to encourage me and all of the other women in our church. She sends homemade cards, she makes phone calls... she's just plain amazing. She's one of the best examples of a mom and a woman of God that I can imagine and I want to be just like her.

That got me thinking, what kind of a mother am I? I like to think that I'm a pretty good mom. But then I get to thinking about my minister's wife and think... there's room for improvement. Now, I'm not saying this to be self deprecating. I'm honestly saying, I think I could do better. I'm a good mom, but I want to be a better mom. I'm a good wife, but I want to be a better wife. I'm a good christian, but I want to be a better christian. Looking at her, it's easy to think, "man, I suck." It's harder to say, that's what I want to be. I think it's the same way we look at Christ. It's easy to see his example and say, "I'm never gonna live up to that" and just give up. It's harder to say, "That's my goal and I'm going to do everything I can to achieve it."

I hope one day, I can be like my minister's wife. I hope my daughter  and son are thankful for more than me not letting them lick the electrical socket. I hope they see me as a teacher, an encourager, a friend, and their biggest supporter. I hope they see how much I love them. But even more, I hope I can be like Christ. I hope my children can see his unending love, his grace, and his mercy through my life. And I really do hope they don't lick the electrical sockets...

C'mon God, that's not fair.

So after ten months of this crazy interview process, my husband was finally accepted as an active duty Chaplain for the Navy. Now, all of a sudden, our lives have been turned upside down. I mean, it's now normal for me to wake up in the morning and ask my husband, "So, have our plans for our life completely changed since we spoke last?"

When he was accepted he was told that he would do ODS (his officer training school) May - June and his Chaplain school in September/ October. This suited me just fine. It meant that I could keep working at the bank until August when our son is due to arrive. Plus, it meant that my husband would be able to be here for the birth and the first month or two of our son's life. Then my husband got a phone call and all of our well-laid plans changed. Now he will be gone at training all summer. He will miss being the best man in a close friend's wedding, he won't be able to marry my sister and her fiance in July, and he'll miss the birth of his son. And if that stress wasn't enough, he will be moving his entire family (wife, daughter and newborn son) all the way to Okinawa. Let me tell ya, that is quite the introduction into military life.

Now, for those of you who know me personally, I always knew that this life was a possibility with my husband. Even when we were dating in high school he told me about his passion for serving in the military. I made a decision then to prepare myself for  that life in the event that I ended up marrying this boy. So as far as preparation for a crazy military life goes... I was ready.

But I wasn't ready for this. I wasn't ready to make plans for going to the hospital without my husband to deliver our child. I was prepared for moving our family right after the baby was born. I was ready for explaining to our daughter that daddy would be home in a few short months. But the whole "not being there for the birth of our son" thing rattled me. And when he's only a few weeks old we're moving to Okinawa! I mean, wow... that's pretty crazy right?

Then I remembered a prayer I said when we were living in Scotland. We had had a rough time of it when we first moved to Scotland. We didn't know anyone, how to set up a bank account, get an apartment, secure a job or purchase a phone plan. There were a few days where we literally lived on bread and butter sandwiches. It seemed pretty bleak. But we still had each other and we still had Christ and we knew that was the only important thing. I felt a strange sense of calmness about the whole thing. I knew that we were where God had placed us and that he would take care of us just when we needed it... and he did. And that night I prayed that God would always have me live a life that was fully devoted to him. I wanted to make sure that my life was impossible without Christ.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, be careful what you pray for! I'm just kidding! But seriously, Christ called us to pick up our cross daily and follow him. He never said it would be easy. He never said we'd always be able to drive a car, live in a nice house, eat pizza or even have our husband with us when we gave birth. But he did promise us a full life... a saved life. That's quite the return on our investment, wouldn't you say? So I realized that I don't want to give Jesus a discount Amanda. I don't want to hold any of me back for fear of the unknown. I'm all in. I want to see what this "full life" is really all about. "What good is it for someone to gain the whole world and yet forfeit their very self?" Luke 9:25.