I've been trying to find a way to describe my feelings over the past two weeks and I still can't figure out how to say it, but here it goes. I'm overjoyed, heartbroken, excited, nervous, energized and exhuasted. I'm a walking paradox.
OnAugust 2nd, we welcomed our beautiful son into this world. When my daughter was born I was amazed at how much I could love someone I had just met. And now I've felt the same thing again for my son. He's the coolest little guy in the whole world and I love him more than I could ever explain.
I was scheduled to be induced at 10:30 that morning but he decided to come all on his own. I started having contractions at 12:30am, my water broke at 4am, my epidural kicked in at 6:20am and he was here at 7:03am. I was so glad to be able to share the experience with my mother-in-law, my mom and my grandma, but I wish that my husband could have been there. Even though my mom was holding my hand and relaxing my shoulders and telling me to breath, I just kept my eyes closed and imagined I was holding my husband's hand. It's the one thing that kept me calm and focused until the epidural kicked in!
When we called the Gunny to pass the message along he let me talk to Bryan and tell him myself. I was crying, the mothers and grandma were crying, the nurses were crying, and I think even my stoic, slightly Vulcan-esque doctor shed a tear. And our sweet son, who was wailing, stopped crying as soon as he heard daddy's voice. It was a moment I will never forget.
Since then, we've had the movers out to our house to pack everything up, which was emotional for Maw maw more than anyone else. She is going to be so sad to be so far from her grand babies again. But at least this time we are in the same country!
Then, on top of everything else, I heard news that a dear friend of mine, a colleague from my work in Glasgow, passed away suddenly. It hit me hard. I'm still struggling with the fact that I'm never going to see Joyce again. It's difficult to imagine someone with so much life in her is now gone completely. She was a great friend and the best colleague you could ask for.
All of this and a looming move across the country has made for a whirlwind of emotions. It has made me very thankful for the thick skin I grew while in Scotland. But even my Scottish stoicism has let me down a few times these past two weeks. not that that's bad... I have good reason to be emotional. It just goes to show how crazy our life has been lately.
In eleven days we will pack up and move to San Diego. I am so excited to see what God is going to do there. I can't wait to begin our ministry. I know it will be hard, but the things in life that are most rewarding are also the things that are most difficult to face.
I'm sad to be leaving our family, friends, and our church again. We've grown especially close with our church this past year. I mean, we grew up in that church so we've always been super attached to it, but it was cool to be a part of the LCC tribe as adults rather than teenagers. It was one of the most rewarding experiences of my life to help with the youth, the nursery, the prayer partner program and the house groups.
In the craziness of the past two weeks I have definitely learned one thing. I am blessed beyond description. Most people in this world are lucky to have the love and support of one person. In the past two weeks I have seen love poured out over my family from our family, close friends, a church full of people, and friends from half way around the world. It has been amazing. I don't know what we ever did to deserve such good fortune, but I am so thankful for it.
What will God do next? I don't know, but I can't wait to find out.
Anyway, the cool thing that I wanted to share with everyone was something that happened to my husband while at training in Fort Jackson. As you all know, he was out on manoeuvres when our son was born. We were able to talk to him briefly after the little one was born, but that was it until the end of the week. It was kind of a baptism by fire for military life.
But the hubs wouldn't tell me why he received the coin until her got home. He got home in the middle of the night, but the next day he dug the coin out of his bag and told me why he was awarded the coin and then he gave it to me. He said he was really proud of me and thought I deserved it more than he did. And although I am sure that's not true (he really deserves it), I was extremely humbled by the gesture. It was way better than flowers. It was even better than chocolate (and THAT is saying something!).
