Sticks and Stones

You're stupid. You're ugly. You're retarded. You're gross. You talk funny. You're a giant. You're a wimp. I hate you. I wish you were never born. You're fat. No one likes you.

I just found out today that my little sister is being bullied at school. My wonderful, kind, loving little sister is being told that she's fat, ugly and stupid. It breaks my heart. I've literally been crying off and on all day just thinking about it. You'd be hard pressed to find a lovelier person than my sister. She is the most attentive, forgiving, merciful kind hearted little girl I've ever had the pleasure to meet.

She's told me about people who have hurt her before and instead of being sad about it, she said they only acted that way because they didn't know what it was like to be loved. She felt sorry for them. 

But these words have broken her spirit. They have made her feel worthless. I can't stand it because I love her so much. All I want to do is hold her in my arms and tell her how incredibly special she is.

Personally, I wanted to give them all a good spanking. How can kids be so cruel? How can they say such awful things to such a good person? Don't they know how their words will change her?

When I was a little girl I once wore a purple sweatshirt to school. A boy said I looked stupid, like Barney the dinosaur. Of course, being me, I just hit him. But that didn't help the matter. It just made him more mean because now he didn't want to look bad because a girl beat him up. He and his friends laughed at me all day calling me "Barney".

I threw that sweatshirt away. It was one of my favorite shirts. My mom bought it for me on one of our very rare trips to the store with just the two of us. (There were five of us growing up, so that was a big treat to get one on one time with a parent.) I didn't even wear the color purple again until highschool. Even now, I only have one purple shirt, and I only wear it under a green shirt as an accent color.

Now, I'm not saying that I'm still afraid of being called "Barney", but I am saying that one person's hurtful remark can have a significant, lifelong effect on you.

Parents, if your kid is being bullied or is being the bully, the answer isn't to ignore it and hope it goes away. There are more important things at stake here than someone deciding to never wear purple again. If bullying has reared its ugly head in your life in any way, talk about it, get help, make it stop. Let's give our kids a better life than the one we had.

But as for now, since I'm on the other side of the country and can't give my sister the hug I so desperately desire to give her, I hope these words from someone much better than myself can help to comfort her. I hope they help you too.

Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother's womb. I thank you, High God - you're breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made! 

~ Psalm 139:13

For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and hope.

 ~Jeremiah 29:11

What's the price of two or three pet canaries? Some loose change, right? But God never overlooks a single one. And he pays even greater attention to you, down to the last detail - even numbering the hairs on your head! So don't be intimidated by all this bully talk. 

~ Luke 12:7

I have loved you with an everlasting love. With unfailing love I have drawn you to myself.

~Jeremiah 31:3

My response is to get down on my knees before the Father, this magnificent Father who parcels out heaven and earth. I ask him to strengthen you by his Spirit - not a brute strength but a glorious inner strength - that Christ will live in you as you open the door and invite him in. And I ask him that with both feet planted firmly on love, you'll be able to take in with all followers of Jesus the extravagant dimensions of Christ's love.

~ Ephesians 3:16-21

To find out more about bullying visit
http://www.stopbullying.gov/index.html 

Commitment?

Omg! Kim Kardashian and her new hubby Kris are getting a divorce! Shock. Surprise. Oh, the horror. Can you sense my sarcasm yet?

It's been all over the news this week. Another celebrity couple call it quits after only 72 days of marriage. Normally people say, 'oh that's sad'. But this time I've just seen outrage... and rightly so. It's ridiculous that they were able to take something that is meant to be a holy covenant and throw it away like leftovers that have finally gone off.

The week before I got a letter from my pen pal back in Ohio, a little girl I had the opportunity to pray for all last year. Her parents just got divorced and she said to me in her letter, 'I'm glad we have something in common. But, I mean, what is it like? Is it weird or what?' My heart broke for her. I felt all the swell of emotions from when my parents went through it and I just wanted to wrap her in my arms.

Because even the most well intentioned divorce tears a child apart. Even if it truly is the best thing for the parents, it still destroys the family and there is nothing you can do to fix that. You can put a band-aid on it, you can learn to live with it, but everyone will always carry that scar with them. And for the kids, it will always effect the relationships they have, the way they deal with stress, the way they view parenting as adults... it's life changing.

Anyway, it made me think, what the heck is wrong with us? Half of marriages in the US end in divorce, and no, I'm not exaggerating.

Now, I know there are some situations that warrant divorce. Cheating, abuse, etc., but those are a small percentage of the 50%. The real issue is that people don't know what it means to be committed to one another. They think a wedding is a wonderful and grand party and forget that it signifies the beginning of a lifelong relationship.

When you say those vows and sign those papers you are saying that you will stick by that person no matter what. You are saying that your life now belongs to them and they are saying that their life now belongs to you. You are telling the world that the two of you are one.

You should stick by them when money troubles come. You should remain faithful, even if you are separated for a long time (like when work calls one spouse away form the home for a time). You should stick together even when you find out something that the other person initially hid from you, like their credit card debt. And you should stick together, even when you seem to fight about everything. All that means is that you need help, not that you should give up.

We should love no matter what. We should give second chances. We should forgive. We should show grace. After all, that's what Christ did for us. And that's what our marriage is supposed to resemble.

So what's our problem with commitment? Our problem is that so many of us don't know what it is supposed to look like.  Well, I'll tell you. It's supposed to look like Christ. The better you and yours truly know Him, the better your marriage will be.

It's not easy. It's not convenient. It's not self-serving. Thank God for that.

Giving

This past Sunday, before the offering plate was passed, one of the men of the church gave a short meditation about giving. He read Mark 12: 41-44, the story of the poor widow who gave just two copper coins but Jesus said she gave more than anyone else because they gave out of her wealth and she, in poverty, gave all she had.

This bit of scripture always made me feel like a schmuck. I know I'm not the richest person in the world, but I'm definitely no where near being poor... no one in America is, really. So every time I read this I think to myself, "I'm a bad person. I'm not giving everything I have. I'm one of those rich pharisees."

And up to this past week, any time I've heard anyone else talk about or teach on this scripture they are all saying the same thing. What more can you do? What more can you give? Heck, I've used this scripture to teach that lesson.

But this past Sunday the guy who spoke at church read the scripture and said, "Every time I read this scripture it makes me feel good." And I was amazed. My jaw actually dropped. That was the first time I had EVER heard anyone say that about this passage. But he said, "Yeah, I mean, it reminds me that no matter how little money I have, I'll always have enough to give back to the Father what he has given to me."

I was flabbergasted. It's so simple, yet everyone seems to miss it. It's not about giving more, it's about giving everything you have. It's one of those things that I know, and I've heard it taught and taken the idea out of other scripture, but for some reason, never this Mark passage.

I was too busy feeling guilty about not giving more money to remember that God doesn't need that money. Yes, he can use it, but he doesn't need it. The giving is for me. It teaches me to be thankful for all I've been given. It is there to remind me that what I've been given isn't mine, it still belongs to God. Giving doesn't help God, it helps me.

So simple, even a schmuck can do it.

Things toddlers do

My daughter has this book called "Things Toddlers Do" and she absolutely LOVES it. I think its because it has real pictures of kids her age doing things like climbing, smelling flowers, eating ice cream, etc. etc.

I thought it was a great book until we came to the page that told my kid that toddlers "bang on pots". We already struggle to keep her out of things in the kitchen, and this book wasn't helping. I thought to myself, "Stupid book, teaching my kids to make a mess...yadda, yadda, yadda". You get the point; I was complaining.

Then I suddenly thought, "Amanda, you're complaining way too much." I was. So instead of complaining about a book which is actually really good for my daughter, I thought I'd blog about the things my toddler does. After all, she won't be a toddler forever. These messes can be cleaned up. And ten years from now I'll probably be complaining about the life of a preteen and wishing I was picking up pots and pans again.

So, without further delay, I present to you, "Things My Toddler Does". Enjoy :)

Toddlers drink from cups

 Toddlers do tricks, like laying their head to the side when you ask them to "be cute"!

Toddlers make a HUGE mess, especially when eating brownies.

 Toddlers bang on pots.

Toddlers dress themselves... it can be interesting!

Toddlers play on the slide!

 Toddlers make silly faces!

Toddlers make a BIG mess in their room when they are supposed to be taking a nap!

Toddlers throw tantrums when you ask them to clean up their messes!

Toddlers stand on their head!

Toddlers can't wait for Daddy to come home after work!

I love my little toddler! She keeps me on my toes, but that's kind of what toddlers do.

Where is the love?

So, I've been reading about Alabama's new immigration law and how it has illegal and legal immigrants alike running around scared to death. In the most recent stories surfacing around this new law are the stories of illegal immigrants who are giving custodial power of their children to American citizen neighbors and friends should they be deported to Mexico.

I don't really want to get into the big debate on immigration because I don't think that's the real issue here. I want to talk about the kids. I can't imagine what they must be feeling. I would hate for my kids to worry that mommy and daddy might not come home when they go out for groceries or that they might have to go live with our neighbors. It must be terrifying for them.

And what about these neighbors and friends who say, "Yes, I'll take care of your kid, raise them like they were my own, and make sure they get the best education possible." What an amazing act of love to show to people who feel so un-loved. I imagine that act speaks louder then any words uttered by a politician.

What really disturbs me are the comments people make about these stories. I don't know where all this hate comes from. One comment read, "we should kick out the Americans who are taking their children too!". Really? Should we kick out every American who takes in a child from a different country? 

What made us so hateful? When did it become a despicable thing to take in your neighbors kids and give them the best future possible? I'm sad that people actually think this way.

I pray that Christians aren't sending out this message. I hope that we are the ones taking in these children. I hope that we are helping our neighbors become legal residents. I hope we're showing people what love really is. I hope...

Elephant in the room

There is this poem about a King who took a bunch of blind men and put them in the same room as an elephant and asked them to tell him what they were touching. One was against his broad and sturdy side and declared that it was surely a wall. Another felt the smooth tusk, pointed at the end and declared it was a spear. The third held the trunk in his hand as it was squirming about and declared it was a great snake. The next felt the big leg and knobbly knee and declared it was surely a tree. The fifth felt the ear of the elephant and said it certainly was a fan. Another grabbed a hold of the tail and said, no, it must be a rope.

The moral of the story is that, in the theological realm, we all argue about God, saying he's one thing or the other and we're all really talking about the same thing. We're all just fighting about "an elephant we've never seen". Basically, it doesn't matter which road you take, they all lead to the same thing.

But there are some thing we fail to recognize about this story.

First, not one of the blind men were right. Trying to figure out blindly what the the elephant was, not a single one of them came to the correct conclusion.

Secondly, they were all correct in their description of the part of the elephant they felt. The problem wasn't in what they felt, but the way in which they interpreted that information.

Third, the only one in the room who could see the whole picture was the King. All the blind men had to do was listen to his explanation to arrive at the correct conclusion. His explanation may not make sense to them, but they need to remember that they are blind. The only way to arrive at the truth of the situation is to have faith in what the King tells them... that they are really touching an elephant.

Now don't get me wrong, I know that doesn't perfectly dispute the idea that all religions are one, but you get the idea right?

I think we're all searching for that elephant in the room. But there's only one way to find him... you gotta have faith in the King. He's the only one that can see the whole picture. Otherwise, we're just a bunch of blind men bumping into each other.

Steve Jobs

I don't really know anything about Steve Jobs. I knew that he was the CEO of Apple. I knew he was brilliant. I knew that he had a profound impact on our history. But beyond that, I can't say that I knew anything about the guy and I'm not going to write about him like I did.

Instead, I want to write about everyone's reaction to his death. Facebook, twitter, Yahoo and Drudge were instantly buzzing with the news once Apple updated their website with this photo. Everywhere you look online tonight you will find amazing quotes and testimonials about a man who lived life without fear of failure, a man who constantly strived for excellence. It's a pretty amazing legacy.

What I liked about Steve Jobs was that I didn't know anything about him and he seemed to like it that way. He was private about his family and his personal life. In today's ridiculous reality-show driven culture, a celebrity who liked to keep his personal life private was refreshing. That spoke about how classy he must have been.

So there you have it... my memorial to Steve Jobs... he seemed like a pretty regular guy, which means he was truly loved and will be truly missed.